I didn’t watch the VMAs, because, come on, so I found out about the Bey Babay from a text at 9:13 last night, which read “BEYONCE. PREGNANT. WHAT?”
I just feel so delighted by this news. All day I’ve had a warm and fuzzy feeling. There will be a new Beyonce in this world! The offspring of two incredibly talented and starry people, who seem to genuinely like each other. Man, it couldn’t happen to nicer people (I say that with personal knowledge, of course). Think of all the new, exciting subjects for songs they’ll have! Already elder statesman and stateswoman of pop, they can now show us how to age gracefully into responsible parenthood, because you know they’ll be great at it.
Jay-Z plus Beyonce…that’s a kid I would like to hang out with. Although, I felt the same way about the Brangelina baby before it was born – that it would be like, some sort of pulsar of celebrity, impossible to look at without sunglasses, and born doing awesome, sexy stuff. But then it turned out to be, yknow, a baby, sort of formless with funny hair, and then it got all tabloidized and was not quite as exciting as I hoped.
Mostly its just real nice to have some celebrity news that makes me feel a genuine, warm happy. Celebrity news is mostly useful to make me feel better about my vague life choices and how I am not paid to go to the gym, but its nice to have a reminder of the genuine, non-snarky, good-feeling enjoyment gossip can give us. Good for you, Queen B!
Update: Ok, so I may have gone a little overboard with this post, because when I went to sleep after I wrote it I had a dream that Beyonce got shot by a 12-year-old with a little, but powerful, gun, while I was driving her around in my grandparents’ red Buick LeSabre. But, oh man, she was so gracious about the whole thing.