The obligatory post-Oscars post

Man, who even wants to talk about the Oscars anymore? Oof. I’m still so exhausted from those interminable last four categories, I can barely lift my fingers to type jokes about Kirk Douglas’s infirmity (but seriously that was too difficult to watch, man). If only Melissa Leo had been later in the show, I think her hilarious f-bomb would have woken me up.


And now she’s playing the unjustly overlooked Jesse Eisenberg’s mom, so that’s awesome (overlooked not in that he should have won an Oscar, but that we should have just spent the whole night talking about how great Jesse is, and then gone home at 10, amirite?).

I liked some things – I thought Autotune the Oscars was totally hilarious, and the montage they used for the Best Picture nominess was pretty sweet (obviously inspired by all the great movie montages that have been turning up all over Youtube). And yknow, its the Oscars – what do we ever expect? I spent my night the same way James Franco did: I wore An Outfit, mostly I was kinda bored, I made a few jokes, I got annoyed at Anne Hathaway, I giggled at “Winter’s Bone.” By the end of the night, I was asleep.

Asleep. Right here.

I guess this means I have to see The Kings Speech now? Through the whole season I avoided it, and told multiple people that I woudl see it if it won Best Picture haha back when it was so obviously going to lose to The Social Network. It looks boring, and none of the clips they showed over the course of the night made it look any more fun to me. But I guess I have to. The clips did make me want to see Winter’s Bone, though. So did Jennifer Lawrence’s dress.

This person is 20 years old

David Fincher got robbed, we can probably all agree, whatever. And lost in all this shuffle, no one has mentioned that the best movie of the year didn’t win at all, and that some movie about “the financial crisis” (snore) beat out this awesome mindfuck art/life/reality/graffiti/hilarity that was Exit Through the Gift Shop. Whatever. Oscars.

This picture totally got my hopes up - they look so glamorous and great!

I guess by now (…22?) I should realize that the lead up to the Oscars is always more fun than the night itself. The discussing, the numerous parties and weird moments and terrible outfits, watching people suddenly become stars out of nowhere, parsing the strange and funny currents of the Industry – its super great for someone like me, someone gossipy and too obsessive about both movie stories and the stories around movies, who likes to read criticism more than see most of the movies, who likes to just talk about this stuff, like forever. The Academy makes silly choices and is full of old people and has such a complicated system of worth and merit and ‘owed-ness’ that it almost seems like one large neurotic organism, dispensing favors in a hurry and then feeling bad about it and trying to have do-overs. And everyone wears cream or red foofy dresses, and every year someone tries to explain the difference between sound editing and sound mixing, and no one is listening. The Oscars are a big self-congratulatory party where people who kind of know each other have to hang out and mingle, while judging everyone else’s outfits and trying to rack up enough things to be thankful so as not to seem totally self-centered, and we all know I love a good Thanksgiving.

This entry was posted in events horizon, famous people are just more interesting, interesting flick., Meaningless Rankings and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The obligatory post-Oscars post

  1. Office Manager says:

    Now, I like James Franco, but I have to admit that I like this quote even more:

    (in fact, the Oscar’s star-filled audience jumped to its feet for Crystal, as if it hadn’t seen a real host in 127 hours).

    And yes, see both of those movies. I’m interested to hear what you think. I thought The King’s Speech was awesome – I mean, Colin Firth, come on – but was bored out of my mind during Winter’s Bone.

  2. Yoni says:

    Kirk Douglas was the best part of the night. Only guy who was in on the joke.

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