Its fall! And you know what that means – chillier weathers, lamer farmers’ markets, and Entertainment Weekly’s Fall Movie Preview!
Fall means it is almost Oscar season, or almost-almost Oscar season, or at least close enough to start talking about it all the time (Carpetbagger, where are you!) Fall means its time for very dark pictures, and also for the Coen brothers to come out with something totally batshit. There’s a new Harry Potter movie, and a new Saw, and people are trying to get me to care about five-hour foreign language epics about sexy terrorists. I love fall!
Anyway, here are some of the movies I’m totally looking forward to:
Ok, so we’ve got Cher (just, Cher), Christina Aguilera doing that annoying belty thing she does, chicks with hilarious poufy hair dancing on tables, and a plotline that, as far as I can tell is the classic ‘I went there to be famous, and I wasn’t famous, and then I WAS,” maybe combined with the ‘they want to shut down our awesome place for reasons that are actually totally understandable!” A spectacular spectacle. Sold.
But also, there was this incredible Hollywood Reporter article about the making of the movie (what I will write about when my free subscription to HR expires I don’t know!). The director, Steve Antin, got the idea from the Pussycat Dolls, of which his sister is a member
And Antin is dating the head of the studio, and has been for 20 years, and they got in these huge fights on the set, pouring iced tea on each other’s heads and shoving each other into racks of clothing, and basically the whole thing seems like the gayest thing ever and I am so excited. Opening today!
Remember how I said that Beyonce and Jay-Z were the famous couple possible, with the possible exception of Brangelina? Well, they made a movie to prove me wrong. Which we will all obviously be seeing. Also it was directed by the guy who made “The Lives of Others,” so maybe it will actually be good? As if that matters. Opening December 10th!
How are more people not talking about this? It is a genderbent reworking of a wacky fantastical Shakespeare play, as directed by the woman who brought us the wacky fantastical “Across the Universe.” Helen Mirren plays a badass in it (I love when she does that!) and Russell Brand plays a Shakespeare character. And there is Alan Cumming, and a hilarious collection of moustaches. Come on! This sounds great. December 10.
Welp. I’m not sure if I’m excited about it or at it, but, well, Natalie Portman turns into a swan or something and I will probably be seeing this. Also Mila Kunis – do other people like her? I do, not least because she has done enough stuff that I no longer think of her incredibly annoying that 70’s show character when I see her (Ashton, I’m looking at you). I’m also totally tickled by the No Strings Attached vs. Friends with Benefits war. December 3, here we go.
Oh hey its the Coen brothers. This round, they have Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin and a Western lined up. Ok. I’m down. Also December looks to be utterly incredible for moustaches. Christmas Day!
And, this isn’t til July 2009, but…
Dude. Rule of cool all over the place – cowsboys + aliens + James Bond PLUS Han Solo/Indiana Jones why did we not think of this sooner!
Not to mention that for the train ride home today I downloaded the new Nicki Minaj, Kanye West, Kid Cudi, Taylor Swift and Cee-Lo albums, some of which I will probably have feelings to share about some time soon. And Rihanna, mostly because the cover is so great. This is the best month ever!